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25 May 2015 @ 07:18 pm

Ingrid is outside and it sounds like she has her FOOT stuck on the horn! Like Im the one whos late!! Here one of those Pulp covers whatever they are seeyaz!

Not only didnt the pictures turn 3D but after half hour, everything looked UPSIDE DOWN to me and I had to hold onto furniture the rest of the night cause I thought I was gonna fall on the ceiling! Murky says to me she says NOW whats wrong with you? And I said, I just have a different perspective on things HaHa.

Well maybe Im exaggerating a LITTLE but thats how it feels. The other day I volunteered to stand next to Mr Musialkewicz and interpret what he was saying through sign language (which I totally know!!) and he said "Miss Rasmussen, take your seat." Can you believe it? I spose he has a point that we dont have any students who are actually deaf so maybe my interpertating was not strictly necessary but the thought was there. He had started to twitch again but that is not my fault he is just too serious. Also, Mrs Clench is so mean in gym class, I am LITTLE I cant wrestle a girl who is as big as a refrigerator so what else could I do but pull her shorts down and tickle her into submission?! Seriously. More detention. Ill still be doing detention when school starts again in SEptember.
25 May 2015 @ 05:20 pm

WOW crazy day so far! Cousin Ingrid is supposed to come get me for the annual BarBEeQue at the Mother Cabrini Home For Wayward Girls but she is ALWAYS late, she swims in the timeless sea of the SelfAbsorbed if you ask me and Im STARVING! Anywhat, Doc is asleep on the couch, making hilarios noises through his wide open mouth so I will take over RETRO-DULL right now and aside from the VAST IMPROVEMENT you will never know the diference!!

First.... MY QUIZ!!!! Neat handwriting counts

1) How far can you run into the woods?*
2) If a bat lays its eggs in your hair, will you go crazy when they hatch?
3) What weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of gravel?
4) Do these shorts make my butt look flat?
5) Where is the East Pole on the map?
6) Can a plane take off if it's on a big treadmill?
7) What number is on an 8-ball? (that one is easy)


1. Do you drive
a) too fast
2. Do you look around at nothing on the ground when you trip over your own feet
a) yes


Connect The Dot: .

*Halfway!after that youre running OUT of the woods, ha ha!!

"No, I WON'T do "Smoke On the Water" again! Enough already!"
24 May 2015 @ 05:56 pm

Well, I'll try to keep to a minimum the remarks about what happened to my third cousin Earl in Stillwater, Arkansas or references to the various porn web sites which are rumoured to lurk about the darker fringes of the Internet. Instead, let's reflect on what Edgar Rice Burroughs himself has told us about the young Lord Greystoke's foster family.

First, the Mangani are not Gorillas (which are called Bolgani in the stories), nor are they Chimps. They are a separate species, much more "manlike" than either of those two primates. It's probably best to think of them as a sort of Sasquatch or Bigfoot type of creature. In fact, they are so close to being human that we are told several times that the men of Opar have successfully interbred with the Mangani and speak their language. (This, by the way, explains why the Oparians look the way they do much better than Burrough's theory that they are bred specifically to be ugly.)

So human/Mangani hybrids are not only possible but a proven fact in Tarzan's world. The offspring are viable too, not sterile like a mule. As unlikely as it would be to have seen print, within the context of the series, it's quite possible that Tarzan could have mated with one of his ape clan and sired healthy if not good-looking (in the conventional sense) offspring. This would have been quite a jolt to Jane Porter when she eventually turned up; we all try to overlook our potential spouse's past *ahem* indiscretions, but really....

"Tarzan's First Love" appeared in BLUE BOOK for September 1916; it was the first of what became a series of twelve stories collected as JUNGLE TALES OF TARZAN. These all took place at a point before the Apeman had seen his first European, and there are some interesting parts where Tarzan wrestles with existential problems like the nature of God, has a bizarre nightmare, fights a vile witch doctor and so forth.

In this first yarn, Tarzan is evidently a teenager (maybe fourteen or so?) starting to experience strange emotional yearnings. He has developed a serious crush on Teeka, a young female Mangani and he duels his rival Taug for her favors. The romantic triangle sways back and forth (Teeka enjoying all the attention and savoring the fact the two males are spilling each other's blood over her, the little hussy.) And the young Apeman suffers all the pangs most of us remember from those years ourselves. ("Tarzan wished to be as far away from the cause of his heartache as he could. He was suffering the first pangs of blighted love, and he didn't quite know what was the matter with him.")
At one point, Taug is captured by the cannibal tribe of Mbonga and the Apeman smugly realizes he has the field all to himself. (My God, it's just like high school all over again.)

Yet even when it seems he has won his new girlfriend (?), Tarzan is still unhappy. She snuggles up to him and he puts an arm around her. "As he did so he noticed, with a start, the strange incongruity of that smooth, brown arm against the black and hairy coat of his lady-love." The Apeman recalls how much the male and female leopards, lions, birds and other beasts so closely resemble each other and he becomes uneasy. Tarzan draws back in confusion, and sets off to rescue Taug.

Eventually, after much anguish and soul-searching, Tarzan steps back and leaves Teeka and Taug to become mates. (In fact, he will remain friends with them and even babysit their little balu... "Uncle Tarzan!") The future Lord of the Jungle makes the first of many noble, melancholy speeches he will say during the saga. "... for all the beasts and the birds of the jungle is there a mate. Only for Tarzan of the Apes is there none. Taug is an ape. Teeka is an ape. Go back to Teeka. Tarzan is a man. He will go alone." (*sniff*)

As long as the subject of sexuality in the Tarzan stories is on the table, does any else sense a subtle homo-erotic undertone in the many loving descriptions of how gorgeous Tarzan is? "Just to have seen him there, lolling upon the swaying bough of the jungle-forest giant, his brown skin mottled by the brilliant equatorial sunlight which percolated through the leafy canopy of green above him, his clean-limbed body relaxed in graceful ease, his shapely head partly turned in contemplative absorption and his intelligent gray eyes dreamily devouring the object of their devotion, you would have thought him the reincarnation of some demigod of old."

Now, as far as I know, Burroughs was absolutely dead butch straight. But every Tarzan book contains these lyrical phrases about the smooth even brown skin, the well-shaped head (eh?), the long supple muscles and the clear gray eyes. Sometimes, it's almost embarassing, like a tribute from a junior high girl to Brad Pitt or something. [Since writing the above, I have been enlightened that this sort of passage is much more a sign of narcissism than homo-erotic subtext. That makes a lot of sense. The average young male reader was much more likely to be picturing himself as Tarzan and the descriptions of lithe, goldlike supple muscles were a form of self-praise. Sounds reasonable to me.]
24 May 2015 @ 05:45 pm

Keep the conversation away from gruesome things you've seen, I'm just sayin'.

1800s waterfowl piece. Not taking any chances back then, an elephant might just pop up.